SHADOWED - Chapter #0: The end

When I look back, it almost feels like I never had a normal life, though I still have lots of memories of these old days. I’ve grown and matured through long years with my body not changing in smallest.  

I like to watch people – their lives, the way they love, change and grow old.  People don’t notice me and that’s just right. I’m supposed to stay unnoticed and silent just like a shadow, invisible to the outer world.

My name was Sehoon. I’ve been born in Seoul. As a child I was friendless loner against my will, an ugly duckling with strong lisp. I made my first friend in third grade of elementary school - a new boy that came from Brazil. His name was Kim Nicolas. From what I knew, he was half Korean and half Brazil, so he had Korean name too – Jongin.  Later our teacher told me Jongin has lost his parents during a tsunami in Brazil, so he had to move to Korea to his grandmother’s. I didn’t expect this kid to even look at me, but he did and he even took a seat next to me. When I first saw him face to face, his eyes were big and sad, lifeless circles. He had plump lips, black wavy hair and sun kissed skin.  I tried to talk to him first, but even when he tried to response, his Korean was very bad that I couldn’t really understand him. After some time we got used to the language barrier. We were communicating with gestures and little drawings. He was my very first friend and I decided I won’t let him go no matter what. He was very smart and soon he could speak Korean just fine.  He taught me about dance and that in Brazil people love to dance. He became an A+ student and stayed just as good until high school.

In high school we roomed together from the first year and I swear, I never caught him studying, but he still managed to get straight A’s. No matter how hard I studied, it had no effect on my grades, guess he just took a lucky card when choosing his talents. I think, I graduated only thanks to him doing my home-work and whispering me right answers during tests. Also, he grew into a very handsome boy, his skin was flawless and because of his tan he appeared somewhat sexy. I was so jealous of him. While he was looking like a male god every girl dreams of, I was skinny and pale youngster with a lot of pimples. However he never treated me as someone less.

To other people Jongin appeared as cold guy. I understand that, because he is very asocial and never tries to talk to anyone. He seemed to only care about dance and school, but he has far bigger heart than that, he just doesn’t show it that much. For example he loves dogs. When we were on dance practice together, there was no wonder that dancing is his forte. When he danced, it was only time I saw his confident and lively side. With me he was just himself. He laughed a lot, but mostly made me laugh.

Jongin’s biggest problem was, when he had to do anything on his own. He had a kind of phobia of being all alone, so I was partly his babysitter. He didn’t even shower on his own. I think his inability to do something alone was main reason he never had a girlfriend. Even when he liked someone, he couldn’t bring himself to ask her out or chat with her in class. I won’t lie, I was happy, that he always stuck to me, because it was making me feel important. Honestly, I would never guess, that once he will be the one my life depends on.

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I woke up earlier today to make a breakfast, checked my mailbox and my heart jumped a little when I saw a letter from Seoul Art Academy. It was for Jongin, I placed the letter on the night table next to his bed waiting patiently for the boy to wake up.

The tea, I made for us, was almost cold by the time he finally woke up. “Morning.” I welcomed him to the new day. “Uh.. gaar what time is it?” he asked still refusing to open his eyes properly. “Time to get up and eat your breakfast.” I simply answered and tried to pull his sheets off, but he didn’t let go. I gave up and walked over to the kitchen to finish my meal. “Sehoon!” I heard him climbing off the bed quickly. “Sehoon!” He was already standing in front of me in his pokémon pajamas waving the letter in front of my face. “Quick, open it!” He looked at me unsure at first, then tore the envelope open. He read it to himself and then looked up with wide eyes. “So? What does it say?” I urged not noticing I was holding my breath. “I.. I made it, Sehoon, I MADE IT!” His voice raised an octave at the last words. I felt a warm feeling creeping up my body. “Great, that’s great! You’re great!” he hung his arm around my neck and pulled me for a tight hug shaking with enthusiasm. “Shall we celebrate it tonight?”

It was 3 AM and my head was spinning from amount of alcohol. I raised my head to find Jongin. He was sitting next to me drinking lemonade. I smiled weakly and tried to reach his head to ruffle his hair. “You want to go home?” he stood up without waiting for reply, pulling me up from the seat. I was sleepy, so I just heaved myself on his shoulder hoping my weigh won’t break him in half. We managed to get out of the bar into the chilly night. I scanned my pockets. “W-where are m-my cigarettes?” I asked. “I guess we forgot them, wait here, I’m going to look for them.” He answered helping me to sit down onto the bench nearby and then disappeared back to the bar. Just now I noticed I’m shaking with cold. I lazily pulled my knees to chest rubbing sides of my thighs to warm myself up. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of muffled basses coming from the bar.

“Are you Oh Sehoon?” a voice above me asked. I opened my eyes not really remembering hearing anyone coming. “Uh.. y-yes, I am O-oh Sehoon.” I tried to say as clearly as possible, but my tongue didn’t listen to me too well. The owner of the voice was a tall, dark-clothed man with stern-looking eyes. “Can you please go with me?” the man asked and I thought maybe it’s a cop and want to try if I am really drunk. “No-no! I mean I can’t.. I’m waiting for someone, uh, I’m waiting for my friend!” I blurted out. “It’s okay.” He answered calmly and took me by upper arm. “What, n-no, what are y-you doing..!” I started to panic trying to wrestle away from him, but I was so weak and his grip was steel-strong. I felt something jabbed me to the side of neck and after a while I felt strength leaving me. Last memory of my former life is someone carrying me inside a car.